There’s no Amicable Split

Tags

, , , , , , , , ,

I have noticed recently that I tend to work with my mind or my body but not with both. My mind will ruminate on all of the things that I should be doing; I will make lists, set intentions, and imagine all of the angles that could make it fail, until I get overwhelmed and shut off. Or, I look for something that will occupy my body to get my mind off of what I need to be doing, because that just stresses me out. (According to TDL this is called faffing).

Through meditation I have been attempting to bring these two things together, and getting some pretty hilarious results. I work by attempting to do what is on my mind, and because my mind is constantly moving from one thing to the next, I can end up running around like crazy.

This isn’t entirely productive at first, because you can end up having several projects on the go without any of them getting done. But the goal is that you begin to figure out what is the highest priority; whether because of a deadline, a commitment, or because of a personal interest.Split

What I like about this technique is that you are going to eventually tire yourself out. Like some one who has a body clock that wakes them up in the morning, you will be able to concentrate on the most important things naturally without worrying whether you should be doing something else. You are confident that this is the most important thing at the moment because you have attempted everything else.

Don’t take this as an endorsement. I am not a doctor or a psychologist. This is a guy trying to find direction in his life to achieve his dreams. If you have tried this, or have any suggestions in finding wholeness with mind and body, please leave suggestions in the comments below.

Advertisements

Aside

Not Tonight

Tags

, , , , , , ,

Image

Procrastination is a big obstruction to creativity. Having a list of 3 or 4 things left undone at the end of the day, if a regular occurrence, can be very mentally draining. The stress of that can leave you miserable, and depressed.

What happens if you leave something for a month, a year, ten years. What happens to you then? Every day you are thinking, I should be somewhere else, I have other things that I need to do. But accomplishing those dreams is difficult now because you have been holding on to them for so long that your expectations for them are very high.

Zoetropicdream is about those thoughts.

I’ve been developing a list that expands and contracts every day; of things I want to do, and goals I want to achieve. My hope is, through my commitment to Zoetropicdream, I will be able to move beyond the anxiety that I have been saddled with for so long and achieve my many goals. Even though some of them have become lost and distorted over the years through compromise and neglect.

I want to be happy, healthy, and live a creative life.

Along with my blog, you will be able to follow my journey through pictures posted on Instagram.

Night life

Tags

, , ,

LOGOIIIMost people’s idea of a good Saturday night is going to a bar or a movie, having a few drinks and hanging out with friends. I spent last night doing a bit of laundry, and meditating. Exciting Saturday night, huh? Well it isn’t my ideal good time but sometimes you need to take time to yourself…

Alright, Truth:

I have been dealing with an anxiety disorder for about 13 years. I have used meditation instead of medication to keep it under control… and this may be the first time I am coming out publicly with it. My apologies if you are just reading my blog for the first time.

I have been hesitant to admit it because I didn’t want it to dictate who I am, and I didn’t want my life to suffer because of it— And if that worked, this blog would be something all together different. Now that I have come out with it, I am hoping that I can put it in front of me as some thing to conquer instead of pushing it off to the side like I have been doing for so long.

Until recently, I have been the guy who puts his dreams and ideas out there and then doesn’t follow through. It’s not because I’m lazy. As evidenced by my last post, I can do a lot that I set my mind to. I don’t think small though, and my ideas have been pretty daunting. Even to the people who care about me who’ve tried to guide me down safer paths. But I have also been battling this thing inside of me, that has been against me this entire time.

Every story has it’s villain, well this is mine.

If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with success unexpected in common hours.  — Henry David Thoreau

I’m sick of chasing my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.
— Mitch Hedberg

Best laid plans

Tags

, , , ,

“Time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted” — John Lennon

IMG_20120523_001054

As I find my way back to a creative life, the thing that people ask me most is “What do you want to do?” It’s a valid question. The Arts field is huge in its scope, there are probably hundreds of specializations…

After I finished high school, I was lost. I was discouraged with the lack of skill I had developed in animation, despite my wealth of knowledge. By this point I had made several changes to my social circles and to my habits, to get myself to where I could be happy with my life again (or for the first time). I was working, but I really had nowhere to go.

I had read somewhere that many animators would perform their characters while creating them, to better understand how they moved and behaved. So with the bit of acting experience I gained from 2 years of drama classes, I joined community theater.

Truthfully, I was extremely shy. Drama was actually prescribed to me by a school counselor who thought it might help me gain a little self confidence and get me out of my shell. It was a year before I got my first break. In that second year, I landed three shows. ‘A Christmas Carol’, ‘The Day They Shot John Lennon’, and a Black Box Drama version of ‘The Ugly Duckling’.

I was amused to find out that during a performance of ‘John Lennon’ a woman walked out of the auditorium outraged that my character—a 16 year old pot head—was actually high. I had had plenty of experience, but the truth was; I was working 18 hour days and they were herbal cigarettes that we were smoking on stage.

The production of ‘The Ugly Duckling’ however was magical. The Director, Eric W. was a great mentor. The King played By Scott Carmichael was inspirational and was instrumental in making the entire performance a success. I won ‘Outstanding Supporting Male’ for my portrayal of ‘The Prince’ betrothed to the Ugly Duckling. But I would say it was the energy of that cast that helped make the show.

This experience taught me that; when I am challenged by something that I enjoy, I become immersed in it. I put everything I had into my performances, just as I had immersed myself into the animation books. Whether I was good or bad, I didn’t care. I was happy learning through the process.

That’s what I love about working in a creative field—I love the exploration. It’s hard to choose a specialization when I am so in love with the process of creation itself. But bills have to be paid and time moves forward, so if I couldn’t make up my mind, fate was going to make it for me…

Thank you for reading

My Secret

Tags

,

I have a secret. When I was in high school, I used to hide in the library and read every book I could find on animation.
I was fascinated by the art of giving drawings life. After a trip to Disney World this expanded to animatronics and movies too. There was a time that I could tell you anything about the history of animation, Disney, or Imagineering.
Why this was such a secret, I’m not really sure now. Aside from the odd anatomy book, there wasn’t anything scandalous going on.
As time wore on though, I kept feeling the pressure to push it aside; to the point that I finally gave up.

LOGOIII

I still knew I wanted to have a creative life. I still proclaimed myself an artist to anyone that asked. Despite that I failed my OAC art class and thought I killed my chance of going to college by writing “I will NOT be attending Colledge” on my application…

Zoetropicdream is about those dreams that remind us of what we really want in life, the dreams that keep calling me back. To no longer just say I am an artist, but to be an artist.

 

Thanks for reading.

Keep Dreaming

Tags

, , , , , ,

Dreams— The ethereal musings of the imagination, inspiring us to move forward, to achieve greatness — to play. Constantly shifting, and changing shape; dreams are influenced by outside forces, like leaves on the wind.

Goals are dreams caught in reality. They are given a name, we seek to expose them and take credit for them.

Running down a dream‘. — Tom Petty

However, A dream doesn’t stop being a dream once it is a part of reality. It has the same transformative qualities, that in turn transform us. Which is why you hear people who have achieved a dream say, ‘I never could have expected this’. Because just when you find that golden chalice, it becomes just another cup.

Goals are great for getting your bearings in this world. But they are limiting if you stop there. So there should only be one goal— to keep dreaming.

Breathe

Tags

, , , , , ,

From the moment we are born until the moment we die, we breathe. We take it for granted until the moment it becomes difficult or stops all together. A lot can happen in the midst of one breath, things that can change the course of time.

There is more to a breath than just bringing oxygen to the body. It is a flow of energy, it can aide us in identifying our emotions, and it is our inner teacher — if we are willing to listen. I believe that how we breathe, says a lot about how we think and what we think about.

I started to notice my breathing after beginning the practice of mindful meditation. By making it my focus, I noticed that I was not breathing steadily. My breathing was how you might breathe when in pain—short and shallow. My shoulders were tight and my body was tired. I also noticed, that a random thought popping into my head could make me catch my breath, make me tense up, forcing me have to take a deep breath afterwards—It was clear my thoughts had taken over my body.

It took me some time (several months), to get to the point where I could be in the moment — even just for a few seconds. Then one day, as if my muscle memory kicked in, I all of a sudden felt my mind and body relax and I could feel the oxygen flow into my finger tips and my toes. I felt like I was sixteen again. I was taking deep, steady breaths and the oxygen and adrenaline mixing together made me feel completely alive, and my mind was just going along for the ride. My body had been deprived of that feeling for a long time.

This is now my goal. To find that zone and live in those moments where my entire body can breathe. And to notice the moments that take my breath away, but keep going.

Breathe in…        Breathe out…